Soulmate Relationships

Soulmates are people who have the relationship most of us dreamt of when we were young and innocent: loving and erotic, inspiring and safe and – best of all – lasting. However, soulmates are not a gift from heaven which some of us had the luck to receive while the majority has been left starving. Everybody who seriously wants to live in such a relationship can learn how to do that. There are four basic dynamics which are essential to create this wonderful relationship that most people dream of.

Commitment to love and to grow in love

Many people wrongly assume that their love would always flow beautifully if they would only meet the right person and that their more negative and selfish sides will only surface if their partner suddenly becomes difficult or boring.  The truth is that our love will only be as strong as our commitment to always regard the needs of our partner as important as our own.

Not more important and not less – just as important.

The law of an even deal

Unfortunately, a commitment to love alone – beautiful as it is – is not enough. There are a huge number of people who are very devoted to their partners and still their relationships are very unhappy because their love and dedication is not reciprocated. The law of an even deal says that all giving and taking in a relationship must roughly amount to an even deal if both partners are to feel satisfied. This really is common sense but many women still get the rough end when it comes to distributing the chores and family duties. Unconsciously they have allowed the law of an even deal to become uneven by being too submissive or too forgiving.

Many people do not like the thought of an even deal in a romantic relationship because it feels too calculating. However, after many years of working as a psychotherapist with people who have relationship problems I have to say: If we want a great relationship we can’t afford the law of an even deal to go out of balance from the very first moment when we meet a potential partner. This is particularly important for women who have a tendency to disregard the law of an even deal to their own disadvantage.

Harmonious and erotic patterns between female and male energies

Now we have love and equality but what about romance? Romance and erotic energy work best if a woman enjoys her femininity and a man enjoys his masculinity. Then both partners can start the romantic and erotic dance that is possible only if two people are delightfully different. The archetypal romantic gesture is when the male gives to the female and if the female receives gracefully. This is not an attack on the victories of feminism but simply appreciates what most people find romantically and erotically fulfilling.

The unavoidable merging-process between two people in a sexual relationship

Many people do not realise just how much two partners can hold each other back in their overall happiness. Being in a sexual relationship is like sitting in one emotional boat where you can only float or sink together. Unfortunately, it is the partner who is more unloving who will determine the overall atmosphere of a couple. This is due to the fact that negative emotions are more dominant than positive ones.

Soulmates have agreed to follow the advice of the happier and wiser partner (who is in this role may often change) so that the couple as a whole can develop in amazing leaps and starts and bring wonderful things to the world.

In my work as a counselor I have found that every problem in a relationship can be traced back to violating one of these four basic dynamics. On the other hand, if these areas of a relationship are positively in place both people will be very happy. For more information please have a look at my book Soulmate Relationships.

 

Christian Online Dating Guides

Within a modern world exactly where God appears to occupy a nearly 'symbolic' function in people's religious life, it's shocking to find the Internet provides the chance for Christian online dating, Jewish online dating and so forth. Is this a rebirth of outdated 'love-life' values or simply the try to stay on the secure side as only 'serious' individuals are expected to participate such internet websites? The inspirations for turning into a member of the Christian online dating neighborhood are many, individual and completely subjective.

Politeness and social manners are often highly acceptable on Christian dating internet websites, and you will see lots of blessings and phrases of wisdom, Bible feedback and numerous other Christianity-related topics. Christian values determine a particular wedding concept that you might or might not accept.

However, this particular continues to be an important element to keep in mind whenever you look up to get a date or perhaps a life companion. Occasionally you might be searching and searching, and nonetheless not find the 'right' individual.

Are Christians who go to church, say their prayers and provide charity to the poor more reliable than individuals who do not? Hard to find out! There's no point to create any statistics with any form of importance here. As a result, Christian online dating ought to not be defined in statistical terms. Christian dating is a great option for individuals who are keen on their religion and wouldn't see themselves within the company of the life companion from a various confession.

You should additionally undergo a number of stages prior to interacting with somebody after a particular interval of Christian online dating. This means the principles of online dating have no exceptions, and so they ought to stay in practice out of safety reasons and for your security alone. On particular occasions, you might be able to confirm the data the other individual offers by checking at the local Christian neighborhood that he/she belongs to. There's so much that you could nowadays find out by just giving a title. You could study a great deal on the other, and be prepared for face-to-face assembly.

Christian online dating might therefore be the proper option for you, but only if you're a fervent Christian your self. Otherwise, individuals might really wonder why you want to date within the neighborhood. Study about the laws of the numerous dating sites and find tips for editing your profile within the most handy and gratifying way possible.

Avoiding Online Dating Pitfalls

Online dating can be a great way to meet new people and potential dating partners. You may have heard of some people being taken advantage of or hurt through online dating scams, and this may make you reluctant.

Here are a few tips to help you avoid online dating scams to help make online dating enjoyable and safe for you.

Tip #1 Be aware that there are online scam artists

It is true that some people use the internet to attempt to take advantage or even harm other people. There are scam artists who try to get people to send them money or do favors for them. There are dangerous people as well.

However, also be aware that there are many other honest people such as yourself who genuinely want to meet other people and date. Don't let a few bad apples spoil your opportunity.

Just be aware that you do need to be cautious and practice safety first.

Tip #2 Never give out personal information upfront

When you first come into contact with someone through an online dating site, do not give out personal information such as your phone number or address.

Take advantage of the communication systems at the dating sites and set up a separate email account for your online dating correspondence.

If someone is pressing you for your personal information too soon, this is a red flag and you should end your communication with them.

Tip #3 Watch for red flags

A red flag is anything that may cause you to feel uncomfortable or unsure about the person. If their behavior is erratic or overbearing this is a potential red flag.

Inconsistent or evasive communication is another bad sign. Pay attention to red flags and if you feel uncomfortable with the person, end your communication.

Tip #4 Don't ever send money or do favors for people online

If someone asks for money or wants you to get involved in their problems, this is another sign that they may be trying to take advantage of you.

We all get down on our luck at one time or another, but asking for help from someone online is inappropriate and not the type of person you want to try to date.

Tip #5 Meet in public on your first date

When you meet for your first face-to-face date it should be in a public place where plenty of people are around.

Don't agree to be picked up at your home or meet at a private place.

Tip #6: Trust Your Instincts

If something doesn't seem or feel quite right do not continue contact or pursue anything further with the person. Remember, there are plenty of people looking to date, and if something doesn't feel quite right, chances are your instincts are trying to tell you something.

Tip #7: Trust Your Instincts

If something doesn't seem or feel quite right do not continue contact or pursue anything further with the person. Remember, there are plenty of people looking to date, and if something doesn't feel quite right, chances are your instincts are trying to tell you something.

Relationship Repair

Repairing relationship requires much time and real endeavors to be fruitful. That’s why not everyone can succeed in healing relationship wounds easily. Luckily, recovering relationship with your Ex is not desperate but it’s not the task that you can complete alone and quickly. Deep reasons for your break-up will determine what proper measures for you to follow are.

 

So you should begin with finding the cause of the break down. You may find that a lot of small things have contributed to the break up. It is much easier to fix one big problem. But fixing several small things will require a lot of effort and patience. In either case, you need to put in the efforts, if you are keen on healing relationship wounds.

 

After figuring out what went wrong, you should honestly examine your own role and the extent of your contribution to the break up.

This will be a hard task for many people because no one likes to admit his or her mistakes. Even if you know that you have done a wrong, you may believe that the other person provoked you. But if your focus is on fixing things, you should not hesitate to own up your mistakes irrespective of what or who might have led you to commit them. Please remember you need to be not just honest, but brutally honest in evaluating yourself, if you have to zoom in on the real factors that caused the breaking up of the relationship.

 

It is not only actions but also words that might have played a big a role in a broken relationship. Words are as powerful as and sometimes more powerful than actions. It is well known that words can inflict deep wounds, which are difficult to heal.

 

The next thing is to decide what you need to do to fix the problems and commit yourself to investing the time required to work on this task.

Healing relationship wounds will invariably involve changing your behavior. If you are not willing to accept this change, you may as well give up your efforts!

 

But whatever you do will have no effect unless your partner is also willing to work on the relationship. If you are not both committed to making it work, it is better to abandon the idea of healing relationship wounds and accept the break up as final.

 

You also need to be aware that even after you save your relationship, the scars left by the break up will remain for a long time and you both should accept this fact. But you can still make your life memorable by loving each other sincerely, with no expectations or conditions.

 

Relationship Timeline

When we talk of human emotions and particularly something as indescribable as the feeling of being in love, there can never ever be certainty about it. Why people fall in love, how they fall in love, when and with whom, no one can really tell. If you ever ask couples in relationship how much time it took them to know that they are the "one" for each other, the answers will range from years to months to days to even five seconds! So, to say for certain that there is a relationship timeline which all couples go through, is nothing but humbug! However, most healthy relationships (I would not say all), do go through some common stages, before culminating into a serious long-term partnership for life. 

Stages of a Relationship Timeline

As I mentioned above, there are a few relationship stages which almost all couples go through.

The first of these is the romance stage. In this stage, both the man and the woman feel highly attracted to one another. They date, meet often, call each other and have fun together. Both of them are at their best behavior at this stage and ignore whatever flaws they might see in each other. Researches show that during the romance stage the body produces endorphins, which make a person feel happy and unusually excited all the time. The man and the woman, during this stage, cannot even imagine to be separated from one another. They want to spend every waking moment in each other's company. 

Next comes the stage when illusions fade. People in a relationship realize that after all they are "people". Their partners are not as unique, special or different as they thought they were. They have some shortcomings and flaws just like any other person. The man and the woman may tend to withdraw a bit from each other during this stage. If the communication between the two is not strong, the relationship may never move forward to the "power struggle" stage and it may end in a relationship break up. 

If you look at a typical relationship timeline, you will see that this is one of the most difficult amongst all stages of a healthy relationship. During this stage, both the partners see each other for who they really are. The partners may start resenting each other's habits. There are lots of clashes, fights and trust issues. If the couple is able to survive this stage, they are most likely to stay committed. 

After knowing about each other's differences, if the couple is still able to form a friendship, an emotional bond between them, it lends a kind of stability to their relationship. The man and the woman realize that although they are very different from each other and have some relationship issues, yet their basic values and goals in life are somewhat similar. The partners, during this stage, are able to develop trust in between them. They may not fantasize about each other any more but they certainly feel more connected emotionally and physically. What follows next is a public acknowledgment of the relationship. The couple introduces each other to one's friends and family. There is talk of an engagement or marriage in the future. 

If you have ever been in a relationship before, you must have observed that you too went through some of the stages of a relationshipgiven here. Although, there is no fixed relationship timeline for men or women as every relationship is different, still, if you are a woman, an important relationship advice is to know the guy well, his nature, his personality, his values and his lifestyle, before taking things further. This will save you from lots of disappointments in the future. The same holds true for men too. Do not make a commitment or say that you love the woman, just because she wants to hear those words, talk of commitment only when you mean it!

Timeline of Sara & Geordan's relationship

Related links:

> Creating Healthy Relationships

> Everyone Deserves a Healthy Relationship

Online dating Vs traditional dating

With the advent of internet and technology in almost every minute of our life, things are changing in a very random way from what they were few years back. People are discovering new options and new means to do different things in a much different way from which they has been doing it traditionally for decades. Such is the scenario also in the world of dating. People now have option to go for online dating which uses internet and technology and is quite different from traditional dating. In this article we will discuss the pros and cons of both these type of dating, so that one can choose the right way of dating according to their needs and preferences.

Online dating has been an immensely popular since the last decade. The main reason for its huge success is because of some obvious reasons. Firstly, today in the age of neck break speed, when people are working hard to keep with the space of time, going out in social events and parties just to meet someone new has become a luxury.

Online dating thus comes into play leaving behind traditional dating in this matter because people can easily stop sacrificing their precious time and money in night clubs and social events and look for their dream partner in an online dating site being in the comfort of their home. But all these come with a cost. Traditional dating scores in being a more romantical journey than online dating. This is because one gets to physically meet their counterpart in traditional dating which is not possible when you are dating over the internet.

Since online dating is virtual, you can never be sure of the other person’s credibility unless and until you meet him or her face to face.

This is not going to be the case for traditional dating, as you will be meeting the person you are dating face to face from the first day of your dating only. Thus, in traditional dating it is not as easy to bluff as is in case of online dating.

Moreover, online dating allows you to date with people from any corner of the world. Geographical location is never a barrier in case of online dating. But, if you are someone for whom long distance relationship is a big no, then traditional dating will be the right choice for you. In traditional dating you only meet with people from your locality or nearby places who you can meet physically face to face from the first day of your dating.

Thus, both online dating and traditional dating has it's own advantages and disadvantages. It is always advisable to go for any particular kind of dating whether online or offline depending upon your own need and preferences.

Online Dating Advice

Online dating has brought the world together with the click of a mouse. If you have made the decision to give online dating a try there is some advice you might take into consideration. Then go and have fun.

First take it slow. You don't have to get involved in the relationship immediately. Take the time to get to know the person you are communicating with. You will want to watch for any signs of deception with the person you are involved with. And make sure that you share the same interests and intentions. If something doesn't feel right then just simply move on from this person.

Don't give out your personal information right away. It is best never to put your real email address or your real name in your dating profile. No one should pressure you to give out this information right away. If someone is doing that then that is a sign that they may be trying to harm you in some way.

No one should ask to meet you in person right away either. Stay away from those that try to pressure you into doing something you don't feel comfortable with.

Ask to see a picture. You will want to know who you are dealing with. It really shouldn't matter what the person looks like as long as they are a good person. But for many people physical appearance does matter. It can be more beneficial if they send you more than one picture. This way you can see them in a variety of settings.

Be careful when you are pursuing an online dating relationship. Your prospective partner should gain your trust with a sincere and honest effort. No one should be able to get your information overnight and no one should be able to get your trust overnight. Be careful with who you are dealing with.

Only agree to a meeting when you feel comfortable.

Never agree to meet up with someone that you are unsure of or have mixed feelings about. You may have a very good reason for your misgivings. Trust your intuition and proceed slowly. If you do agree to meet, make sure it is in a public place. This is for your safety. You would be surprised that a public place might discourage someone with less than honest intentions. And let your friends and family know what you are doing. Again, safety is important when you are meeting a stranger.